Stigma to strength podcast: Spending Time Alone

In our second episode Kyanne and Eliza talk about the joys and challenges of spending time alone.  

After an introductory chat, Eliza introduces the topic.

She starts by explaining:

“In this episode we want to discuss why it’s actually not a negative thing.

"It can actually be really positive for your wellbeing – and it can be fun.”

Kyanne (right) and Eliza recording Stigma to Strength

Kyanne adds: “A lot of the time our first instinct is to go to someone else and kind of find solace in other people, which is really good.

"But I think spending time alone can teach you how to do that for yourself as well."

"It's important to learn that you can enjoy yourself; you can have a good time alone and, like you said, it doesn't have to be the last resort.”

Kyanne's grandma

Eliza and Kyanne always feature guest voices on the podcast. For this episode they have a voice note from Kyanne’s grandma. She spoke about the effect that being from a different generation may have on people’s attitudes to spending time alone:

If you had a problem that couldn't be solved, we just put on a stiff upper lip... So in later life, it wasn't really a big deal if you had to then continuously be on your own, or problem solve on your own.

“Us older generation, we were almost expected just to get on with life. If you had a problem that couldn't be solved, we just put on a stiff upper lip... So in later life, it wasn't really a big deal if you had to then continuously be on your own, or problem solve on your own. But the younger generation does have a lot of social media…so, it might be more difficult.”

Kyanne explains: “It's interesting what my grandma said about getting on with it. I think it is different for her because when she was 10, she came to the UK from Barbados and it was very much about just getting on with things and not complaining.

“But I think in this generation, one thing that should be prioritised a lot more is spending time alone, but not just doing chores…

"You can do something silly, you can have your own concert in your room; if you want can sit and do nothing!”

Going solo

Eliza adds: “Actually, there's something quite nice and relaxing, not relying on people.

"Sometimes you can go on, say, solo dates, which is like quite a thing, and finding new fun, cool places to go. Being by yourself can be great.”

The next voice note is from Andrew, who’s a youth ambassador for the Charlie Waller Trust. He says:

“Spending time alone brings up ideas of feeling peaceful, feeling in control, and getting a good idea of what you want out of life.”

Getting the balance right

It's important to have a support network, especially if you're going through a hard time.

Kyanne and Eliza reflect on what Andrew has said, talking about what they feel are some of the positives of being in your own company. They go on to discuss the importance of finding a balance between time spent alone and connecting with other people; it’s especially important to have a support network if you’re going through a hard time.

Top tips

The two presenters wrap up this episode with some of their own top tips in relation to time spent by yourself. Here are the first two:

• Spending time alone is a positive thing. And it definitely is not embarrassing.
• You don't have to be sitting in silence when you spend time alone, you can actually have fun.

For more tips - and to hear about Kyanne’s Valentine’s Day routine and Eliza’s passion for solo vintage shopping - listen to the podcast:

Listen here