Stigma to strength podcast: Life transitions

Welcome to episode three of our podcast series.

Kyanne and Eliza open this episode with a little seasonal chat about the pressure to spend money on presents at Christmas. There’s actually a rather lovely typo in the transcript where Kyanne says: “Some of the nicest things are the smaller presence you give to someone which are really thoughtful.” Well said, Kyanne! – often being present for someone can be the most valuable gift.

Eliza introduces the topic of life transitions. She says: “We wanted to pick this topic because throughout life, even at our young age, you’re always going through some sort of transition, whether it’s big or small. It might just be going to your next academic year, or it might be moving house.

“Some of them are in your control…and others are completely out of your control, which adds a different aspect of challenge to it.”

Eliza makes the point that people deal with big changes differently: “Some people find it really easy – so you might be embarrassed to say if you’re really struggling.”

Kyanne concurs with this: “I agree. I think that, as you get older, there’s a lot of pressure to get on with change. But it can be difficult to do that and to manage. And lots of people do find it difficult, no matter what age they’re at.”

Next, we hear a voice note from Andrew, one of Kyanne and Eliza’s fellow Charlie Waller youth ambassadors, who talks about the transition from school to sixth form. He says:

“There’s a step up to more responsibility, [it’s] more self-directed. However, you still don't quite have the responsibilities freedoms that you do as an adult… You're on the cusp of being a child and being an adult, and it can really feel like a halfway house where you can get stuck.”

Kyanne and Eliza both identify with Andrew’s feelings. Eliza says: “There are just so many different things thrown at you at that point in life, because you’re trying to do your ‘A’ levels [or equivalent exams]; you’re also trying to be really social and make new friends and lots of people are trying out relationships for the first time.

Kyanne adds: “I feel I went to my first party a lot later than most people…when I was 18. I was so nervous because I was like, are people going to know that I’m new to this? But I think it’s kind of up to you to decide what is normal for you.”

Eliza agrees: “It’s so valid that the first time you’re doing all of these experiences, you are scared."

In a second voice note, Andrew talks about moving home after you’ve been to university, which he says “can bring about its own challenges in the same way that moving from to university does. Your family and friends expect you to be that same person you were when you left, you know, eight, nine months ago, but you’re not…you’ve changed, you’ve grown."

Kyanne and Eliza go on to discuss the need for balance between been being independent and getting the support you need as a young person.

We then hear from Eliza’s sister, Gracie, who says: 

“Whereas I would really recommend if you do have a big life change coming up, like starting a new job or starting at uni for the first time, then try and keep as much as you can about the rest of your life as normal as possible…stick to your routine, whether that's seeing the same friends as you normally do, or eating like you normally do and try and sleep as much as you need. And then the big change will be less scary.

“Life changes can be really overwhelming and scary. And I think it can be tempting sometimes to suddenly look at your whole life and think you need to change everything…

After chatting about the challenges that can come with making big decisions, Eliza and Kyanne signpost to some helpful resources, reminding listeners that they are not clinical professionals but rather discussing this topic from a lived experience perspective.

They give a couple of top tips on transitions before ending with an invitation to suggest topics for future episodes. 

If you have an idea for a future topic please do get in touch - either via social media or by sending an email to communications@charliewaller.org

Listen to Life Transitions