Workplace wellbeing: looking out for your colleagues

It can feel very difficult to ‘find time’ to connect when you are busy and worn out. Making time for true connections with colleagues may feel like a challenge, or participation in group activities outside the workplace may be daunting if you are an introvert by nature. Yet there are all sorts of ways to stay connected with others - so find what fits you, your lifestyle and the time that you have available.

Connection to others can make all the difference to your working day, to your mental wellbeing at work - and to how your team functions and relates to you. At some point in our working lives, we should have all felt how energising and inspiring it can be to connect with others working in similar roles to us; these people can provide a fresh perspective on our work and a chance to share ideas. Whether it’s cultivating relationships with colleagues and like-minded peers to share our experiences and best practice with, or joining a community group outside of work (such as a choir or a walking group), connection can make a big impact to our lives.

Even in the midst of lockdown, there have been many opportunities to connect, from individual outdoor meet-ups to video calls to online quizzes. Despite being forced to largely work apart from our colleagues for the time being, technology has provided many chances to connect on a much deeper level with others.

It is a good idea to try and anticipate times when your teammates, or even your whole team, may be experiencing a difficult or highly stressful period of time or event. Looking ahead to challenging times enables us to put measures in place to be there for, and support, one another, before we are in the “thick of it”.

Being aware of a difficult anniversary looming on the horizon - such as the death of a colleague’s loved one - presents an opportunity to connect with your colleague and support them through a difficult time. While it’s important not to make assumptions about the support that is needed, being proactive can really help: after all, nobody works at their best when in physical or mental pain.

The suffering of yourself or a colleague also puts pressure on the wider team - and that’s why it’s vital to put measures in place to support positive mental health, and to keep an eye out for when others may be struggling.

Once you have picked up the signs that someone is struggling, don’t ignore it: reach out to them.

Practising compassion for one another takes time, and its success can depend partly on your relationship with the other person. Current social restrictions have also limited opportunities for more informal moments with others. Yet we should all still take steps to reach out and check in on others who may not be OK.

It’s important to ask twice and not to take someone’s first answer at face value: most of us, when asked how we are, will answer “fine” – even if the exact opposite is true. That’s human nature. So without being pushy, ask again. If the person is reluctant to talk to you, that’s fine: you can just let them know that you are there for them, if they ever need someone to chat with.

Sometimes, just knowing that someone has noticed and cares can make all the difference in the world – even if you’re not ready to talk about it. Perhaps just a positive distraction, such as a friendly chat about something completely different over a cuppa, is actually exactly what’s needed. Most of the time, we don’t need to do anything more than offer a listening ear and the space to talk a problem through: if someone does open up to you, just allowing space to talk and be actively listened too is often enough.

There may be occasions when advice or information is appropriate – and remember this might not always be specifically related to mental health. People can have all sorts of problems that can impact on their mental wellbeing, for example, debt, bereavement, relationships, family problems and housing issues. What’s most important is to respond with humanity, sensitivity and compassion to whatever circumstances the individual is going through - and how it’s making them feel. Offering empathy rather than solutions can often be more helpful to others, while maintaining clear boundaries about what you can, and cannot, appropriately do to help them.

If you feel that your colleague has become very unwell you might need to signpost to more appropriate help. For example, if you can see that a person has reached crisis point and is practicing damaging behaviour or having suicidal thoughts, you should suggest that they see their GP as soon as possible for professional advice and support.

Reaching out goes both ways; we can’t all be the ones noticing and offering help to others. We also need to learn to reach out when we need help ourselves. By doing this and being open to responding to people’s kind enquiries of us, we can create and nurture a culture where it is OK not be OK, and where we can ask for and receive help as well as give it.

Self-compassion is vital to our wellbeing; we should all feel able and comfortable sharing and expressing our vulnerabilities and stresses with others that we trust. If you can risk revealing what’s going on for you, that can give the other person permission to also share how they are feeling, which can be immensely powerful. This openness can then help create an environment of mutual support and understanding. However, we should be aware of falling into the trap of too much grumbling and complaining with others - while this can start off feeling good and cathartic, it can often fuel dissatisfaction and make us, and others, feel even worse in the long run.