Looking after ourselves

It’s important to think about what’s gone well rather than blanking those parts out and focusing on the negatives. Take time to notice the positives. Equally, it’s important to talk to people if things aren’t going as they should. If the person can listen to you and really hear what you’re saying, together you can move things forward.

Notice what’s going on with your friends, family, colleagues. Find the time to ask the question ‘how are you’? And ask it twice to show that you really want to know how the person is, and that it’s not just a question used in passing. It’s so important to talk to each other and listen.

If we look after ourselves, we will thrive – just like a tree. It needs to be in the right position, with access to food and water, in order to blossom.

We need to plan what we do in our lives – if some things are too stressful, hand them on to someone else, who may well enjoy and thrive on what you’ve passed to them. This applies both to your work and family life. Cherry-pick those things that enable you to be the best you can be.

You may feel you don’t have a choice about what you do at work and you’re finding the demands very overwhelming. You have to acknowledge you’re doing the best you’re can and doing the jobs you can do. If it’s feeling too stressful, then it’s about talking to somebody and finding a way forward. If you don’t, and become so overwhelmed, you won’t be able to do anything at all. However, make sure you’re still keeping some of the positive things that you really enjoy doing.

Journaling is an important part of talking and sharing. If you don’t have someone you can offload on, make sure you have a notebook by the side of the bed where you can note down some of the things you’re feeling overwhelmed by. Seeing them written down sometimes means you can challenge them more, rather than them becoming more overcomplicated and all-consuming in your head.

You can also use journaling to write down some of the things you’re grateful for, and things you have done well and that have made your day much better. These gratitude practices can enable you to go to bed feeling more positive and to wake up the next morning more positive and ready to cope with what happens during the day.

It’s important not to worry if you fall asleep and then wake up and can’t get back to sleep, or struggle to fall asleep. The important thing is not to worry about it. Rest is OK – you’re lying down in bed, being as calm as you possibly can be, and that is good enough.

When going to bed, hold on to the positive thought, which sometimes may be something very simple; anything you haven’t done that day, let it go and move on. Tomorrow is another day. Don’t use your energy on things you haven’t done. This is so important, especially just as you go off to bed.

Think about what we say to ourselves – we are our own worst enemies. Think about what we say to ourselves and challenge whether you’d actually say that to a friend. Very often we’d never contemplate uttering those bad things we say to ourselves to someone else, so why say them to ourselves? Let’s spend some time being good and kind to ourselves and congratulating ourselves on the small things we achieve each day. Rest will then come much more easily to us and make tomorrow a happier time.

Being kind to ourselves puts ourselves in a position where we can make a positive impact on ourselves as well as on others.